At a time when there is increasing discourse on the necessity of creating a collective awareness for women and providing them with virtuous immunity against destructive calls that challenge their femininity and vital role in Muslim societies, I find that efforts in this direction are insufficient if not complemented by parallel and cohesive endeavors to restore authority to men as leaders in the family and the nation.
All our efforts to restore women to their rightful position will be feeble if we do not also prepare men for their roles. This is because the role of women is incomplete without the presence of exclusively target women; rather, they reached women by marginalizing men. Women were empowered to sideline men, diminishing their roles and responsibilities through a calculated and malicious approach. This strategy continues to target the
foundations of Muslim families, preventing them from rising with strength and competition.
The return of women to their roles without the presence of men in their positions is poor planning and strategic failure. This is because the role of men is leadership, and the loss of leadership is a loss for women even if they are rectified!
The Role of Men and Their Responsibility in Managing Their Families
As the leader in the family and the primary responsible figure before Allah, as mentioned in the hadith narrated by Abdullah bin Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both), the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ‘Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The leader who is in charge of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his subjects. A man is a shepherd over his family, and he is responsible for them. A woman is a shepherd over her husband’s house and children, and she is responsible for them. A servant is a shepherd over the wealth of his master, and he is responsible for it. So, each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock.’ (Agreed upon)
There is an urgent need to reconsider this role, which includes educating children to achieve the ranks of manhood and leadership. This begins with them taking responsibility for advising and guiding women within their family circles to realize the meanings of servitude to Allah, regardless of the son’s position within the family. He is responsible for inviting the women, his mahrams, to realize the meanings of servitude to Allah alone, without any partners, and to assist them in doing so.
As for how he does this, he should do so with understanding, wisdom, and through advice, using every possible means to touch their hearts before addressing any other aspect of his relationship with them. He should establish this fundamental principle between him and them until his mere presence serves as a reminder of Allah to them.
“He doesn’t need to be stern or harsh, nor does he require harsh words or intensity. The matter should be handled with gentleness and thoughtful consideration, by posing questions that bring forth noble meanings, explaining verses, offering light admonitions, and a little consistent guidance is better than a lot that is sporadic. This should be accompanied by a display of compassion and a genuine desire for their well-being.
He may use examples from history and reality, illustrating the consequences of neglecting monotheism and engaging in anything that corrupts it. He should clarify the principles without which worship and action are invalid: sincerity to Allah alone without any partners and following the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم in a righteous manner. He should speak to them about the importance of intentions, the duty of aligning goals and resolutions with the guidance from Allah. If intentions are good, everything following them will be good; if corrupted, a woman should only blame herself.
This is a role that many men neglect within their families, thinking that their relationship with their female relatives is just a familial connection, forgetting the duty of reminding them of Allah and encouraging them to remain steadfast.
How many family gatherings where Allah was not mentioned turned into displeasure in the eyes of Allah, bringing His wrath upon those present! Let the man pay attention to this important principle in his relationship with his female relatives before exerting effort in broader matters. It is narrated on the authority of ‘A’isha that when this verse was revealed: ” And warn thy nearest kindred,” the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم stood up on Safa’ and said: “O Fatima, daughter of Muhammad. O Safiya, daughter of ‘Abd al-Muttalib, O sons of ‘Abd al-Muttalib. I have nothing which can avail you against Allah; you may ask me what you want of my worldly belongings” (Sahih Muslim).
In the call to his female mahrams, a man must be concerned about their righteousness and advise them. If they come out adorned in a way that is not permissible, he should not welcome and praise their appearance; instead, he should express his disapproval and show his rejection of this sinful behavior. Even if he lacks the authority to enforce change in the household, expressing disapproval can have an impact on the woman’s heart, making her feel a sense of deficiency and shame for her actions. Many instances of rightful disapproval have led to the guidance of a girl towards modesty and fear of Allah. Enjoining good and forbidding evil, when established, brings blessings and virtues that only those who uphold them for the sake of pleasing their Lord can comprehend.
This includes reminding them of the obligatory acts, prayers, and worship during their virtuous seasons. A beautiful reminder shakes the souls even if they are inattentive.
If a man sees among his female relatives something that pleases his eyes and delights his soul, such as a commitment to righteousness, an inclination towards the Quran, and a realization of the meanings of monotheism, he must simultaneously express his joy, love, welcome, and encouragement for such actions. This can be done through various means, including giving gifts, praising in gatherings, providing support, and offering both
emotional and material assistance. Souls are inclined towards
those who treat them well and value their efforts.
This is a first step in restoring the authority of a man’s role in his family, being a sincere adviser and a close guide.
Raising Sons with Financial Responsibility The preparation of a man for his responsibilities in Islam, which are esteemed and dignified, should not happen suddenly and unexpectedly. Instead, it should begin early, from a young age, as one is shaped by the environment they grow up in.
Unfortunately, what many families overlook in our time is the preparation of their sons for the role of a man, as a leader of a future family and to shoulder the responsibilities of men in the Islamic Sharia as an individual and as a member of his community. It is common to find a young man reaching the age of twenty without knowing how to manage finances, lacking independence, and having no experience in bearing the
responsibility of providing for the family or managing expenses, or even maintaining family ties, even with a small amount of money, to experience the essence of responsibility and fulfill the words of Allah: ‘And for what they spend of their wealth’.
This necessitates the duty of raising the son to assume financial responsibilities at a very early stage, by familiarizing him with good financial practices, such as budgeting, wise spending, and saving to achieve his goals. It involves teaching him about charity, spending on his mother and close relatives on special occasions and holidays. To facilitate this, it is crucial to allocate a specific allowance for him, clearly explaining its purpose and how he should use it. Additionally, involving him in some financial household tasks, such as paying bills, can help him develop a sense of responsibility.
I find it crucial that a son, from the age of discernment (7 years), receives a personal allowance (a small amount) and continues to do so, with parents guiding him in managing his expenses. Upon reaching adolescence, the allowance should increase, and additional responsibilities should be introduced, such as ‘buy for your sister, buy for your mother,’ and so on. After reaching adolescence, if possible, it is beneficial for the son to participate in projects involving the collection and distribution of charity to those in need. This instills manners and education in prudent financial management. All of this corresponds to the creation of contractual, ethical, and economic awareness in the
mind of this aspiring believer, preparing him to take on leadership
The son should not view money as an end but as a means. Hence, religious education is crucial in such a path, preventing him from becoming greedy, robbing others of their rights, or misunderstanding the purpose of our actions, leading to theft or misuse under the guise of charity!
In solidifying good financial management, teaching the son to keep secrets and gradually taking on tasks typically handled by adults is helpful. This builds confidence, determination, and high aspirations in him. Entrusting your son with a secret task, known only to him in the household, creates strength in his heart, giving him a sense of identity and importance within the family and the community. This can be accomplished through charitable
missions, perhaps through secretive acts or relieving hardships, all within the realm of righteous deeds and noble purposes, shaping a Muslim, believing, virtuous, and righteous man.
And among the things that harm the son and may lead to counterproductive results and the collapse of bonds is criticizing
him in his financial dealings, and excessively rebuking him with condemnation and insults, especially if he makes an effort to spend money on what he sees as genuinely necessary and prioritized. Reminding him that this money is not truly his and that he is merely a dependent follower undermines and breaks his self-esteem. Instead, it is essential to instill the concept that money belongs to Allah, and extravagance in spending it is a crime, while fulfilling its obligations is a duty involving both giving and taking.
One of the ugliest actions parents can commit when giving their son his share of money is humiliating him and expressing favor upon him!
It is not appropriate for the son to receive money that he will use to serve his family with disdain and harm; rather, he should receive it with trust, integrity, and the understanding that ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you.’ [Quran 14:7]. We achieve excellent results when accompanied by instilling the fear of Allah and venerating Him in the son’s soul early on, along
with educating him about the religious obligations connected in a comprehensive system.
In a hadith, it is mentioned: ‘Charity to the poor is charity, and to the relative, it is both charity and upholding the ties of kinship.’ (Sunan Ibn Majah) Perhaps what people often neglect in our time, despite their frequent acts of charity, is maintaining family ties, which is an integral part of charity.
Addressing this vulnerability is crucial for the future of the family and preparing a generation of men capable of handling family and
financial responsibilities, performing their duties regarding maintaining family ties, spending, leadership, and all forms of guidance.
In reality, the errors and familial failures we witness today in our societies trace back, regardless of the connected reasons, to
previous familial failures and inadequate preparation for the leadership role within a family. How then, when it comes to leading in the path of Jihad and leading a nation!
Al-Bashir Al-Ibrahimi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
“Relying on oneself is the best thing that parents can instill in their children; it is the path to happiness and the foundation of independent living.” (Athaar Al-Ibrahimi, 46/1)
Shaping the Man of Responsibility (Qawwam) Early On
One of the dilemmas of our time is the discord, conflict, and hostility towards the inherent principles of Allah’s law, such as the right of men to be in charge. It is indeed a great tragedy when a man disputes the right and duty that Allah has endowed him with for his own benefit, the well-being of his family, and the overall welfare of the entire community. Instead of preparing and equipping himself maturely with knowledge and insight to assume the responsibility of leadership, he fights, opposes, and
has the helm of leadership wrested from him, leaving the ship to sink!
Al-Baghawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “Being in charge and having values mean the same thing. The one in charge is the one responsible for managing affairs and disciplining others.”
Leadership/”Qawama” is both a science and an art, a responsibility and a trust, a duty, and a task. Falling short in it is a catalyst for the destruction of the family and the entire community. Therefore, the son should be raised from a young age to be prepared for the responsibility of marriage and fatherhood. This means providing him with the necessary awareness to assume this crucial role in his life and in the lives of those under his care.
Allah says: “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah
has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance (ill-conduct) – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey
you [once more], seek no means against them. Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.” (Quran, 4:34)
And Allah, the Most High, said: “And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” (Quran, 2:228)
The authority of the man is an honor and a responsibility; it is a gift from Allah and a preference of men over women. It is also a responsibility for the man at the same time, encouraging him to earn and spend on his wife, securing her worldly and hereafter interests.
Allah says: “By [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth…” (Quran, 4:34)
This brings us back to the importance of raising children to bear financial responsibilities from an early age, as mentioned earlier.
This preparation is a cornerstone in shaping a responsible man who is also a leader, fulfilling his duties akin to the responsibilities of leaders over their people.
It requires upbringing based on sound Islamic principles derived from the guidance of the Quran, Sunnah, and the practices of the righteous predecessors. This is to make one aware of the importance of the responsibilities assigned to him in the Sharia of Allah and the obligations that come with them.
Thus, honor is coupled with duty, and honor is not exclusive without action. Some people misunderstand this, as authority entails preparing a man to bear its responsibilities, always conscious of being held accountable before Allah.
Assuming leadership responsibilities requires a responsible awareness of the significance of fulfilling these duties with complete trustworthiness and piety. A man who neglects his leadership role contributes to destructive and oppressive factors, leading to loss.
A man must fulfill his role to the best of his ability, as mandated by Islamic law, and cannot evade this responsibility. Educating the son about these principles should align with his understanding of the inherent differences between him and women, fostering better mutual understanding.
A man possesses physical and inherent qualities that qualify him for the responsibilities assigned to him in Islam, including physical strength, intellectual capability, and emotional balance.
These qualities are the foundation for sound judgment, determination, and the ability to bear burdens. However, they are incomplete without ethical and moral qualities, enabling him to bear the responsibilities of significant leadership roles or perform Islamic rituals specifically designated for men, such as Friday prayers, jihad, and maintaining authority (Qawama).
Every leadership role that a man assumes in Islam requires masculine qualities, profound religious and ethical awareness that align with the course of action. This necessitates an upbringing that comprehends these essential details, fostering individuals
who defend their frontiers and lead the way with divine guidance.
Stripping them of this role or depriving them of the means to carry it out efficiently is the greatest crime and betrayal against religion and the nation, representing a prominent factor in the decline and resurgence of a nation.
Let the son grow up understanding the meanings of authority and prepare himself mentally, academically, and materially to perform this duty. He should learn his duties, the significance of his role, and be well-versed in Allah’s commands and prohibitions, thereby fulfilling his responsibilities with excellence.
This doesn’t imply that a man should arrogate himself over women or treat them unfairly, as rulers may do with their people.
On the contrary, he is instructed to fulfill his guardianship with kindness, recognizing the inherent vulnerability in women.
Failing to do so will make his accountability before Allah challenging.
Islam emphasizes the necessity for every man and woman to fulfill their complementary roles without begrudging the advantages
Allah has granted some over others. As mentioned in the Quran:
“And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of His bounty. Indeed, Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.” (Quran 4:32)
Looking into these meanings, we find a crucial importance in raising the son to possess strength in his body, determination in his spirit, and intelligence in his mind. Additionally, instilling noble morals and chivalry is essential. The position of leadership requires the ethical conduct of a noble leader, not merely authority handed to someone who doesn’t understand its value and responsibilities. This implies assigning him tasks that enhance and highlight these qualities, strengthening and nurturing them—a form of upbringing that cares for the flourishing of his masculine virtues and the enhancement of his leadership qualities.
Educating children about these meanings should begin early in the household by witnessing the father assuming the role of authority. If the father is absent, the search for these qualities should be explored in the inheritance of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and the righteous predecessors. It requires establishing oneself upon them. Among the most important aspects to educate children about is the art of good companionship (Ihsan) and doing so early. We have a significant deficiency in this art within families. Children are raised with little patience and quick complaints. Good companionship is the spirit of marital relationships and a foundation for their continuity based on piety towards Allah, even if affection and love are not present. This is why it is commanded in the Quran, as mentioned: “And live with them in kindness.” (Quran 4:19), encompassing all aspects of family life and marital interactions between spouses, including communication style, showing compassion to the wife, making her happy, and overlooking her weaknesses. Ibn Kathir, may Allah have mercy on him, commented on the verse “And live with them in kindness,” saying, “This means speak to them kindly, treat them kindly, and present yourself kindly to them to the best of your ability, just as you would like them to do for you. Allah says elsewhere, ‘And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.'” (Quran 2:228).
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم also emphasized the importance of being the best to one’s family, stating, “The best of you is the best to his family, and I am the best to my family.” He demonstrated kindness, playfulness, and tenderness towards his family, being generous in expenditure, making them happy, and overlooking any shortcomings.
Reflect on this understanding and insight.
Teaching children the responsibility of leadership involves instilling in them the importance of justice and fairness in exercising this role. Islam is not confined solely to the concept of guardianship (Qawama) but rather encompasses the entire Quran with strength. This guardianship is coupled with caution against injustice, aggression, and oppression, both materially and morally.
The best example for instructing a son in guardianship is emulating the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم in his dealings with his wives, may Allah be pleased with them. Some scholars have said, “Whoever seeks goodness in the Hereafter, wisdom in this world, a just and
balanced conduct, and the inclusion of virtues in their entirety should follow the example of Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah, صلى الله عليه وسلم. They should adopt his ethics and conduct to the extent possible. May Allah help us to emulate him, with His grace. Amin.”
I continue to emphasize the necessity of teaching children the biography of the Prophet, صلى الله عليه وسلم, and his traditions early on so that they can cultivate the character of the best of humanity. This will enable them to adhere to his righteous guidance, protecting themselves from trials.
Appreciating and activating jealousy (Ghayrah) while maintaining moderation and avoiding excess and deficiency
In our time, there is a silent assassination of jealousy, which is foundational in raising a son to be a responsible man and in shaping generations adherent to the laws of God, competent on Earth. This occurs with a hammer and a chisel – a hammer preventing him from rejecting practices of immodesty, mixing, and a lack of modesty within his family, and a chisel sculpting a street filled with reprehensible acts, following the policy of
“excessive interference leads to loss of sensitivity!”
Ibrahim al-Sakran said: “Building on the principle of relativity, some people use belittling terms for the state of ‘jealousy’ and ‘protectiveness’ for Sharia and virtue. They label a preacher who becomes visibly upset if the foundational Sharia principles are violated as tense, and they may call him fanatical or agitated, and similar descriptions and flaws. They label the religious discourse that is passionate for the sake of religion as ‘tense discourse’!”
It is a very painful reality that stifles a man’s jealousy and makes him surrender to a situation that tolerates reprehensible acts, and even denies those who reject them. As Allah says, “They used not to prevent one another from wrongdoing that they did. How wretched was that which they were doing!”
This signifies the importance of caring for the feelings of jealousy in a son and not suppressing or extinguishing them within himself. Jealousy is one of the crucial factors for development and progress, representing an indication of the soundness of one’s natural disposition.
Sheikh Ahmed Muhammad Shakir, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “Nations that lose their jealousy (Ghayrah) for their religion and honor have nothing but destruction.”
Al-Raghib Al-Asfahani commented on jealousy, stating: “Allah, glorified be He, has placed this power (Ghayrah) in humans as a means to preserve morality and protect humanity. Thus, it is said:
Every nation that instills jealousy in its men and chastity in its women has applied this for the preservation of everything
essential to humans.”
Al-Hasan Al-Nadwi remarked on this: “History has witnessed that every nation whose men lost their manhood and jealousy and whose women succumbed to immodesty, competing with men in everything, neglecting domestic life, favoring infertility, saw its star fade and its sun set, becoming a mere trace of what it used to be.”
However, it is the commendable jealousy, which is jealousy for the sanctities of religion and honor, not the blameworthy jealousy that Allah has forbidden. Al-Awza’i reported from Yahya bin Abi Kathir, who said: Solomon, the son of David (peace be upon him), said to his son, “O my son, do not be excessively jealous of your family, as this may lead to casting blame on them because of you.” This is because excessive jealousy brings accusations against the woman and harms her more than it protects her.
Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “The jealousy
of a servant for his beloved is of two types: praiseworthy jealousy that Allah loves and blameworthy jealousy that Allah dislikes.
The type that Allah loves is when a person becomes jealous when there is a legitimate suspicion.
The type that Allah dislikes is when a person becomes jealous without any suspicion, merely due to evil assumptions. This type of jealousy ruins love and leads to enmity between the lover and the beloved. It is reported in the Musnad and other sources that the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ‘Jealousy is of two types – one type that Allah loves and another type that Allah dislikes.’ We asked, ‘O Messenger of Allah, what is the type of jealousy that Allah loves?’ He replied, ‘It is jealousy when there is a legitimate suspicion or violation of sanctities.’ We asked, ‘What is the type of jealousy that Allah dislikes?’ He said, ‘Jealousy without any suspicion.'” (Rawdat Al-Muhibbin page 297).
The Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم also said: “Indeed, there is a type of jealousy that Allah loves, and there is a type of jealousy that Allah dislikes. The jealousy that Allah loves is jealousy concerning suspicion, and the jealousy that Allah dislikes is jealousy without
any suspicion.” (Sahih al-Nasai)
To achieve this in the upbringing of children, we need to instill in them a strong moral foundation, securing ethical values from a young age. This involves educating them through the Quran, Sunnah (traditions of Prophet Muhammad, صلى الله عليه وسلم , the biographies of the Prophet, and the lives of the companions. Utilizing beneficial readings and purposeful stories will safeguard their wholesome jealousy and refine their taste, avoiding excessiveness or neglect.
It is helpful to keep them away from sources of temptation and open displays of women without hijab. Warning them against casual mixing from the onset of adolescence and clarifying that such actions are reprehensible. Advising against viewing prohibited images and forbidden movies where a child might become desensitized to nudity, considering it normal in societies, while in reality, it builds a destructive mindset.
Encouraging them to promote modesty and bashfulness, such as encouraging them to gift their sisters with hijabs, reinforces the values of modesty. Introducing cultural elements to the children must be done cautiously to instill a strong sense of piety,
strengthening their aversion to actions contrary to the teachings of Allah. The more they learn to distinguish between right and wrong, the more their refined taste and strong ethical sense will persist.
Engaging them in projects that enhance their sense of responsibility, volunteering in religious activities, and
participating in campaigns promoting hijab and other duties will nurture a strong sense of responsibility.
Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “Associating with unrelated women and mixing with them is one of the greatest prohibitions, detested even by some animals, let alone humans. Allah says, ‘Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts,’ and ‘Tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts.'” (Majmu’ al-Fatawa, 219/5)
Establishing the importance of the son’s role in the family
This begins with instilling in him the significance of calling to monotheism within his family. Emphasizing the responsibility of expenditure and financial management, and providing him with knowledge about the costs and responsibilities of the leadership role, a privilege that he must preserve through good deeds and performance. Once his natural and cherished sense of jealousy is preserved, we have created an honorable consciousness for the future husband and father.
However, this is not sufficient given the dangers that families face today. Therefore, early awareness must accompany him, encompassing the importance of the Muslim family, the specific dangers it faces today, and providing systematic insights into the methods of enemies of Islam in diverting this family from its duties and functions in Muslim society. This involves directing his intentions and purposes in marriage, from selection to
establishment and goals, while correcting misconceptions that have spread, leading families to become vulnerable in the winds of desires, lacking a fortified stronghold, a towering fortress, and being a factor in the rise of the Muslim nation and a cause for the establishment of the edifice of Islam on earth.
The earlier we clarify the rules and foundations, the more we can expect a strong and wise man capable of bearing the costs of building his family and establishing it on Islam. This becomes the primary condition for him in marriage: establishing a family governed by the laws of Allah, not the conflicting laws and human whims.
This is achieved by magnifying virtues and belittling vices, accustoming him to love ethical virtues and detest their opposites, and teaching him to distinguish between truth and falsehood, viewing life through the lens of the Quran and the jurisprudence of the Sunnah. It is a process of shaping a man on pure Islam!
Following the Prophetic guidance in fostering kinship bonds among believers
One of the prevalent issues in our time, marked by the pointing
fingers of blame towards others, is the estrangement that ha infiltrated families. Thick barriers have risen between hearts within the same household. It is exceedingly painful when there is a vast emotional distance between a brother and his sister, both living under the same roof, while the closest people to them may be living in another country or continent, bound by mutual affection and love that others envy!
The matter is not about a tangible distance but a moral distance between hearts. The brother must commit to being kind and considerate, befriending his sister, drawing near to her with sincerity and trust, becoming an advisor and confidant, not an enemy lurking or engaging in conflict!
How many sisters have set themselves aright, by the grace of Allah and then due to the care of their brothers? This care involves advising with gentleness and kindness, an art that a son should learn from an early age. He may be tasked with escorting his sister and not allowing her to go out alone where she might be harmed.
He might be entrusted with assisting her in her choices through shared decision-making. He should be taught to give gifts, show affection, and be compassionate to his sister. He should strive to
protect her and ensure she is not harmed. This includes being cautious about allowing his friends into the house and mixing
with his sister, creating an atmosphere where an ill-intentioned person cannot approach her.
Some girls are shielded from heart patients due to the respect and authority that their brothers or fathers possess, a blessing from Allah even if they are weak.
Similar care should be extended to female relatives by advising and taking care of them in times of illness, weakness, and adversity. These moments create lasting memories. Furthermore, brothers should protect their female relatives from harm, either from within themselves or from their companions. For instance, if a sister is associated with friends who are corrupt, a brother should approach her to fill the emotional void and prevent her from being led astray.
Building trust in these circumstances requires religious understanding and insight. A brother who is wise and insightful
in these matters will become a responsible man and husband, completing his spouse, and a nurturing father with well-guided offspring under his care.
To cultivate the importance of the son’s role in the family If children are raised to fill the emotional gaps through which
thieves of modesty infiltrate, or from which compromises and deviations begin, they will protect their honor. A daughter should find emotional fulfillment within her home, based on trust in her family, their love for her, and even if they are stern in her upbringing and discipline when she makes mistakes. She should be convinced that her family cares for her more than a stranger who may lead her to actions displeasing to Allah. She should be aware that her brother, more than anyone else, loves and protects her, rather than being an oppressive enemy. She should not hesitate to confide in him about potential dangers or harm, seeking his advice with love and affection. This is one of the best means of protection, creating internal resilience and selfdeterrence against deviations, fostering strong trust between siblings.
In conclusion, what we have discussed are factors and reasons for the early formation of sons into leaders. The more a person venerates the details of Sharia, the more they respect its comprehensive principles. There is no way to exalt the comprehensive without exalting the details. This mission is armed with knowledge, patience, and reliance on Allah, as the external world is harsh, and the waves of temptations are high. The heart of the young knight must be nurtured with every means to ensure
stability and elevate his aspirations. This is the completion of virtue.
These were the key points for the project of creating a man, a leader in his family and community. Caring about these details, even if some consider them excessive, is fundamental in proper education and a comprehensive solution to many complex and intertwined problems.
Let us build high spirits, realizing that “the worst of houses for a man is a position of words without deeds, and worse than that is for a man to be like a notebook recording what men say and do without engaging in righteous deeds or participating in the arena of opinions with a decisive arrow” (Athaar Al-Ibrahimi, 1/56).
Translated by Hamza Al Ā thārī,
إن أحسنت فمن الله، وإن أسأت أو أخطأت فمن نفسي والشيطان
واجب الإعداد المبكر لصياغة الأبناء رجالا قادة
Dr. Layla Hamdan | December 7, 2023 | Education | Concepts
The Duty of Early Preparation for Raising Sons as Leaders (PDF)