Many platforms and channels celebrate the employed woman, depicting their lives as paragons of excellence and success, receiving praise from “supporters of women’s rights”. However, if someone advocates for women dedicated to their homes, emphasizing their virtues, merits, and accomplishments, these “supporters of women’s rights” criticize, oppose, and launch attacks! Where is the talk about their rights?!
The most oppressed woman in the world is the one who chooses
to stay at home, dedicating herself to raising her children and maintaining her household. She is the most subjected to slander, belittlement, depreciation, and marginalization! She is the most scorned, even though she is the most significant woman and the most devoted to serving her community before herself! The injustice against this woman is an injustice to her, her husband, and her children. It is a compounded injustice!
A woman cannot reconcile two conflicting projects: one that requires her to be out all the time and another that requires her to be connected with her children all the time! Most working women’s models show clear deficiencies in their children’s intellectual, educational, and ethical development. The neglected models, in reality, belong to every woman who prioritized the
creation of generations over working and accumulating wealth in the job market.
One of the most significant reasons for divorce in our time is when a woman enters into a marital relationship with the mindset and beliefs that her job is more important than her husband and children. She believes that her success and excellence are defined by the type of job she obtains. Thus, she gives birth to children without realizing their value and the magnitude of her responsibility. She leaves them to be raised by “chance,” receiving some care from her in her spare time.
The media and Western programs targeting women have successfully ingrained the concept of success within the framework of “employment and working outside the home.”
Now, in the comments of our women, mentioning a woman dedicated to her home is automatically considered a signal of failure and incapability, even if she is originally a university graduate and made this decision herself. We are facing a distortion of concepts!
If an uneducated woman talks about the advantages of staying at home, she is attacked as backward and ignorant. If an educated working woman talks about the drawbacks of staying at home, she is praised for her intelligence and awareness.
If an educated woman who chose to make decisions at home praises this decision, she is attacked and condemned! The issue is: “They want what you don’t want!”
May Allah have mercy on the women of the past whose reputation spreaddue to their abundant charity, good character, and religious devotion. Their names were remembered in the circles of knowledge and jihad because of their well-raised children. Today, a woman’s value is measured by her salary, the company she works for, and the job benefits she earns, even if her children do not pray and do not know their religion!
Attempting to link education and knowledge solely to employment is the greatest trap into which Muslim women fall. Knowledge is accessible and does not necessarily imply the need for a job. Restricting knowledge to employment is the biggest falsehood used by those advocating for employment.
Allah knows that many of them, despite having degrees, lack substantial knowledge. Knowledge is not just a job; it is insight, understanding, and a conscious mother who is fundamentally educated and understands priorities.
Your priority, O Muslim woman, is your children! A righteous
child will pray for you after your death! (And do not be like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves. Those are the defiantly disobedient.)
Allah says (They love the immediate (rapid life; dunya) and leave
behind them a heavy Day).
Ibn Kathir commented on this verse, saying: “A clear rebuke to the disbelievers and those resembling them in their love for the worldly life, their inclination towards it, and their dedication to it, while neglecting the Hereafter behind their backs. (Indeed, these love the immediate and leave behind them a heavy Day) meaning the Day of Judgment.”
Women who are wronged
There is a large percentage of women obsessed with work, competing with men at the expense of themselves and their families. However, another significant percentage includes men and families pushing their daughters to work and go out, demanding their participation in household expenses. These women dream of staying at home and having a righteous husband (and reject any other). Only a few speak about them. I receive complaints from sisters in great distress!
Then we see calls, like “do not marry a working woman,” launched and generalized with injustice. This is because there are indeed women forced to work, wishing to find a husband who will rescue them from this ignorant swamp, not a husband who will drown them in it. Those promoting these calls add insult to injury. Therefore, I strongly caution against generalizations, and justice is necessary to distinguish between those compelled and those defiant. There is a significant difference between them.
Addressing the issue of women by separating them from their families and the reality of men in their lives, is a superficial approach unsuitable for those seeking reform. This woman is in a man’s house, and if she marries, she enters another man’s house.
Responsibility should not be shifted away from these men, and women, who are fundamentally under the authority of men, should not bear all the responsibility, while remaining silent about the shortcomings of fathers and husbands.
There are women clenching onto burning coals, literally, in the home of an immoral man who traffics his daughter. In a family that mocks her righteousness, condemns her, and makes her life a living hell, all for the sake of turning her into a bank account that fulfills their dreams. With harm and torment, she is held accountable for the morsels they provided her during her childhood! Where does this girl go between the hell of a family
living in ignorance and preachers who release and generalize mercilessly?
We must admit that all families have been afflicted by the ignorance of the era, and the transformation of women into what we now see of deviation and loss is not solely the work of women but the result of an entire family contributing to its ruin. Despite this, we have exemplary models of women who remain steadfast
even in disintegrated families. Who else can support them if not
the mercy and compassion of the believers?
Categorizing every woman forced to work as corrupt is an injustice and is inappropriate in societies where we know well that she is suffering from a profound deviation caused by her detachment from the great Islamic system. This system needs to be fully reinstated for justice and security to prevail. Blaming the woman, who is often a victim, for all the responsibility is an attempt to evade accountability and another form of injustice.
The issue of a woman’s righteousness is initially tied to her belief, religion, and character. Those who seek to stay at their homes should be assisted, not declared war against, rejected, and attacked as if they were corrupt. Allah knows that there are Muslim sisters suffering from fathers and husbands who do not pray, yet we do not hear a voice addressing them! How many women have been reformed by the hands of men!
Why do some people feel ashamed to admit that there are indeed families where the father does not pray and the husband does not prostrate to Allah? Why do women raised in such households, who have remained upright, still face accusations and declarations of war? The Prophet’s saying is clear, “Choose the one with religion.” Anyone who imposes conditions not stipulated by Islam is expressing a personal opinion; may Allah relieve the
distress of every chaste believer.
How many university students chose to stay at home and stop studying? What was the family’s response? Declaring war on her, making life difficult for her, forcing her to study. The examples are very painful as she suffers from those closest to her. Yet, when she graduates, she finds people accusing her of mixing freely and labeling her as corrupt. Reflect on the double standards!
Translated by Hamza Al Ā thā rī ,
إن أحسنت فمن الله، وإن أسأت أو أخطأت فمن نفسي والشيطان
المرأة القارة في البيت: تصحيح مفاهيم
Dr. Layla Hamdan | December 2, 2022 | Article | Women
The Woman at Home: Correcting Concepts (PDF)